Alejandra Gutierrez, LCSW

What is Couples therapy for Coparents?

Couples therapy has evolved to meet the needs of different family configurations

What is Couples Therapy for Coparents?

Couples therapy is for two individuals working towards a common goal. Traditionally that goal has been fostering, healing, nurturing, and preserving a romantic relationship. That approach to couples therapy is still very necessary and valid. However from a lense of inclusivity therapists have a responsibility to apply skills, knowledge, and research about the ability of two individuals to collaborate towards a common goal to families of all shapes and sizes. 

What is the goal of couples therapy for coparents?

Couples therapy for Co Parents works to heal the relationship between two parents who have a deep desire to work together for the benefit of their shared child. At times this can include engaging in meaningful conversation around pain points in the previous dynamic. Some past hurts may have no clear resolution yet it’s ready to rebuild the dynamic in a way that is suitable for a more collaborative relationship. Seeking support can help pivot your relationship in a new and healthier direction. The transition from romantic partners or exes to parenting partners is a difficult one and many drop the ball. 

Common reasons coparents come to therapy

Couples in a romantic relationship present to therapy for issues of money, sex, parenting, and in laws. How much more relevant are many of these issues for co parents. How can this plug into your needs? 

Couples therapy for co parents is appropriate if you aren’t sure where your relationship stands but you know you need to create some structure and boundaries around parenting. Couples therapy for co parents can be used in lieu of mediation. If you have remnants of a romantic relationship it may include elements of discernment counseling which allow a couple to explore the idea of legal separation or divorce. Both individuals set aside time to seriously consider if they want to renew a commitment to each other or are ready to leave the relationship amicably. 

How do I know if I’m a coparent or single parent?

For couples who are permanently separated this may revolve around parenting time schedules, discipline practices, a fair distribution of responsibilities, or how to communicate more effectively together 

Maybe you don’t know where you stand and you’re wondering “do we even count as a couple? You do. 

Let me be clear. If  you have children together. Regardless of any other aspect of your relationship or lack thereof. You need support. Create clarity around your roles as boundaries, create structure to benefit your child and set boundaries which do not allow your role as a parent to be compromised or affected by your relationship to each other.